A time to Laugh, and a time to Cry.

Well... I think it's time I wrote something again. I've been thinking about doing this for a few days now, but find that time is escaping me often... that and the fact that I'm not sure what I'm going to write, and whether its okay to write it all down or not. 

Right now... life is tough. Cam and I are refocusing life... and redefining who we are as a couple and how we live together and treat each other. And that's HARD. It's a long and tiring journey. And we have only just begun. Today my sister (who is by far the best sister in the entire world) sent me a verse of encouragement, and I would like to share it... 

"Praise our God, O peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;
He has preserved our lives 
and kept our feet from slipping.
For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.
You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance." (Psalm 66:8-12)  

This struck me as very significant to where we are right now, and where I personally am. As it says in the New Testament as well... let us rejoice when we suffer for Jesus' namesake. I want to live that life! I want to be a rejoicer in every circumstance, good or bad. I want to stand out as one of God's chosen ones, because I am leaning wholly on Him to support me in every minute of every day and in every situation. I know that I cannot do this myself. There is no way. Day one: I would fail. I know that. God is so much greater that me, and His ways are perfect, and far beyond what I could even begin to imagine for myself. What a great blessing that I know this God, and that He loves me. 

I also need to do a little shout-out to my friends... the ones who love me even when I'm crazy, and when I'm selfish, and when I'm depressing. I have the most amazing friends in the world. One of whom is my mom... and not a lot of women can say that. God has blessed me with her as my mother, my confidant, and one of my best friends. I tell more to my mom than I do to most of my friends. She knows me inside and out... even if she couldn't tell you what my favorite meal would be. She knows my heart. She knows my hurts and my joys. I love my mom. 

And so, here I am. Learning & growing. I can feel God moving in my life right now. And boy is it phenomenal. Scary... because I know how closely suffering is tied to God's movement in His loved ones. And because I don't know what life will look like on the other side. But maybe that's the most exciting part... trusting in His plan. 

What an awesome God we serve. Tonight, I missed Vespers at CBC. I usually go... because I only get to go to the church service every second week, since I help in the nursery... but tonight class finished super early, and I feel gross, so I decided to come home and do this. And I am so glad. I process best when I write things down. And I see more of what God is doing, and how He's really challenging me when I write it on paper, or I guess, type it on a computer :) 

I pray that as you read this... and as you ponder God's movement in your life, that you would see Him. That you would want more... and that you would not be content with a "normal" life. I'm not... that's why Cam & I are at this redefining place... I am not content with the simple life. May God show you how precious you are to Him, and how He wants to use you for His sole purposes. 

Much love, Emily Michelle Kasper

** I just want to share how much I love my last name. Sometimes I see it written down, and am reminded of the amazing man that I married, and boy does it make me smile. I'm so glad to be Cam's wife. :)