The significance of Joy

Yesterday, I had a friend/cousin come up to me and tell me that my joy made his day. This was said to me on a day that was horrible for me. I felt gross, and not happy in any sense of the word. And yet... my joy impacted someone. My question was, what joy? It made me realize how real God is in me, and how He uses me even on the bad days. Cool.

We had care group last night. We're watching a series on Philippians. It's great. I've missed 2 out of four... because I'm lame. But... the one last night struck me. He was talking about the inspiration of our hearts. The pride that lives in us. And asking if we see everyone as having souls... whether it's the waiter in a restaurant, or the garbage man, or a homeless person on the street. Do they have souls when I look at them? Does the crappy driver that cuts me off and makes me upset have a soul to me? That was a challenge!! I think we make ourselves feel better by pretending/believing that we are better than these people, and that they don't matter like we do. We take pride in ourselves. In what we do, in what we have, in what we think we're entitled to. It makes me sick. I am honestly disgusted at the pride in me. God is revealing a lot to me lately, in the midst of these hard struggles. He's teaching me that I am prideful. I think I'm entitled to being a mom... that isn't true. I will be a mom if God blesses me in that. I think I'm entitled to happiness... where in the Bible does it say that? We find JOY in Christ... which is very different than happiness. I don't want to just be happy, I want to be joyful. I want to shine the light of Christ. EVERYWHERE!

I find myself stunned in my seat when I realize the extent of my misconceptions about life. The selfishness of my motivations sometimes. It's a little scary. I want so much to be Christlike, and I want to seek Him in everything... but then I'm here and I'm selfish and rude and frustrated over stupid things, and I don't love people like I should. And I feel so inadequate for God's grace.

One of the most significant things that struck me in the video last night was how the speaker talked about Christ's death. Jesus could've stopped the process at any time. The hands that grabbed him, He made those muscles. The cross that He was nailed to, He formed those trees from nothing. He could've stopped it. But He CHOSE to die a sinners death for me. What an awesome God we serve. Oh man. Floors me.

Life is short. Lets live it up... and serve God with all we are and have. Amen?!

E.