Oh to be wise....

What a strange day it has been. I should be working right now, but my mind is racing a million miles a minute. Oh how to stop the thoughts?

A good friend of mine stopped by to see me today, and I was struck by how much a conversation can alter the mood of a person. How when you open your heart to a friend, there is relief, or perhaps even regret that you spoke the words that you did.

I live a comfortable life. I don't like it. I want to be stretched and challenged every single day. I want to serve God through serving people daily. And I work at a job that technically I do that, but it feels as though I am in it for all the wrong reasons, for security, for acceptance in the realm of North American society, where it would be "unwise" to be in full-time ministry that involves not getting paid for it. Confusing, isn't it? Maybe I've just started taking this job for granted, and maybe I've stopped seeing the ways that God can use me here. If so, I need that back. I want to be an instrument of growth.

I made new friends this week. And I've already been blown away by how God is using them every single day to encourage me and strengthen me. Even if it's a friendly wave across the cafeteria, or a long conversation at the Reception window... every single one of these people has changed my life. God has used them to build me up and give me more hope to become the person that I need to be.

One of these particular friends put across a challenge to me today... would I go on UMA again? And boy, that's a question that I've been struggling with. I don't want to idolize the one experience that I had, or the people that I met on that particular experience. But I also don't want to ruin an opportunity for another great experience by expecting it to be just as great as this one. If I go, I need to change my heart first. I need to have an open mind. I need to lower my expectations, and wait on God. And I want my husband to come. That's the kicker for me!

And so... let this be the end of my posting today. First day... and already two posts. I bet any of you that read this will be tired of it pretty quick!

Much love and blessings,
Emily