Life As it Is...

Today, I feel good. I feel ready to handle anything. 

I don't often feel this way. I like feeling this way. I know that I want so much more from life right now, but I need to be patient on God's timing. 

I've been reading a few really incredible women's blogs. I know I've mentioned them before... but oh boy... they challenge me to want to take more pictures, they challenge me to want to write more on my blog, they challenge me to research how on earth to be a great mom when I'm given that gift. Oh I want what they have. I want that peace deep within my soul, knowing that God has gifted me with blessing after blessing. 

Not that I don't have a good life. Oh I do. I have the best husband in the world. I have a good job. I work with amazing people. We have a beautiful home. I have great friends, and an awesome family. I serve the One & Only God of the Universe. He loves ME. How could life not be great?!?! 

Oh... and... I'm taking a cake decorating course. With my amazing friend, Dana. And my incredible cousin, Kayla. We have incredibly fun times together. And make beautiful things. This Wednesday is our LAST night doing this. And we are going to have amazing cakes by the time it's done! I'll put up some pictures of what we've done once I have everything done! :) :) 

Okay... so I seriously feel like this blog is lacking anything fantastic. I need to think of some sort of something to keep me going in this. A 30 day challenge or something. Hmm... good idea!! And I want to take pictures more... since I have an awesome new iPhone, it even has a flash. I could take phenomenal pictures with it! PERFECT! :) 

So I'll let y'all know once I have something figured out for writing more frequently. :) That is... if anybody actually reads what I write. Ah well... maybe one day.  

Another Day... Another Dollar...

Here I go... working again :) Same as ever, really. But boy am I sick right now... sooo stuffy. It's a horrendous feeling.

So I've started reading some blogs... and have been so challenged by the women's journeys with their children. A couple to be named are the mom, and enjoying the small things. I have loved reading these, and have been brought close to tears by the roads that they have walked. It's through things such as these that I realize how easy I have it. I may not be totally content in life right now... and I may get frustrated easily at how I don't feel that I'm living up to my potential. But I am so blessed. God has given me far and above what I deserve in this lifetime already! 

My lovely cousin Kayla, my friend Dana, and I are planning on attending a cake decorating class starting next week... and I am so excited!!! All three of us feel the need to "do" something tangible. And this is the best thing we can think of so far!! Haha! I will post some pictures once we actually create something :) 

So there is a slice of my life... once again. I really should do this more often :) I enjoy it so when I do!!

Oh Blogging...

So... since I've been terrible at this. I will no longer beat myself up for not posting. It's been a LONG few months. I've been terribly exhausted and not feeling well. Cam and I are trying to make some pretty significant decisions... and I'm about at the end of my rope emotionally and physically. 

So therefore... I have not been blogging. I feel like these should be about happy things. Telling about the good and exciting things going on... not the overly overwhelming and not happy things. 

I've been in counselling... YAY! And it's actually amazing. I love the woman that I've been seeing. She has helped me be challenged and realize some of the things that I need to do in order to move forward in life... like write my life story. I'm at age three... and I've been stuck there for weeks. I just get scared that I'm starting this horribly uphill journey and don't know where I'll end up at the end of it. I know I'll be better for it though. It's also scary to think about reliving each and every horrible moment that has happened in my life... and, boy, are some of those moments not good. I'll admit... I'm scared. And weak. But I know that God wants this for me... to finally be rid of the past, and more than able to move on into the future that He has planned for Cam & I. What an awesome God we serve. 

So there's my short and sweet update on where I'm at. I'm sick, and tired. And overwhelmed with life. But I have a God who loves me and wants only the best for me. And I also have a husband whose patience never seems to fail, and who amazes me with his incredible ability to love me. 

If you think of us... pray for us :) It's a long journey that we're on right now. 

Blessings, and hopeful wishes... E.  

It's About Time!

So... as I have so miserably failed at keeping this blog up to date... I shall attempt to write something profound so that all those sad days without me will be erased ;)

My amazing husband and I got to go to Las Vegas this Christmas season! We had SO much fun. I felt so incredibly blessed by the love that he showed me in being there and resting with me. We went to Blue Man Group... AMAZING! We had so much fun. Cam enjoyed taking pictures with random characters on the street :) And we also went to Le Reve, which was phenomenal, but which I have no pictures of due to the sheer fact that they do not have mannequins of the characters around to pose with!  

So we also just spent time walking around the gorgeous hotels and seeing their beautiful Christmas displays! The Bellagio was phenomenal. If we ever go back to Vegas (which both of us have agreed is unlikely) we would probably stay there.

 And so... let me explain... Above left is the Bellagio entrance... oh lovely times :) And above right is a picture (handily taken by someone we later discovered was a professional potographer) across the street & in front of the Wynn hotel where we watched Le Reve!

What a trip!

And so... I shall leave you with that and wish everyone a happy new year. I am hoping to get some lovely Christmas pictures off of my amazing mother-in-law so that I can post some of the time that we got to spend with Cam's grandparents from Montreal... what a blessing they were to us. I can only hope & pray that we are able to see them again before they meet Jesus.

Alas, it is time for me to end this. Work began a while ago... and I really should be focussing on that :) It was about time I posted though... so here we are :)

Bye bye for now!

Missing people.

So I've been pondering how blessed I am lately... and boy, am I ever! My family is the BEST ever. I have two moms, two dads, 4 sisters, and one brother... I am  praying that I will eventually have 4 brothers too :) I am SO blessed.

Last night, I went out for coffee with one of the most incredible women I know, Quinea. And she made me so grateful that I have people like her in my life. I also realized that my family is not just my immediate family members... but I have two extra sisters... Rachael & Quinea. They are my family too. And I have a WHOLE BUNCH of extra cousins & aunts & uncles... all who I grew up with, and who watched me grow up, in Botswana. I appreciate every one of these people beyond what I could ever imagine.

Then I stand in the middle of it, and wonder how on earth I got to be so blessed. And how on earth is it possible that I ever feel lonely? But I am also sad, realizing that right now is a time where some of the very important people in my life are not here. Katie is on YWAM in Hawaii. Rachael is in Portugal on TREK. And Quinea is leaving for OM in South Africa for six months soon. I don't know how I'm going to be without those amazing women right here with me. But I also think it's super awesome how God is using these women all over the world to bless others. I guess I have to share them for a while :)

On another note... it snowed all day yesterday. I love snow. It is beautiful. I think I love it even more because I didn't grow up with it, but moved here when I was older and could appreciate the amazingness of it. Sigh... oh to be sitting at home in front of a fireplace right now & looking out at it. Instead... here I sit, at work, exhausted and wishing for the above :) :)

I guess that's enough of a post for now. I've been lagging behind in keeping up on here. I'm beginning a challenge to myself soon that was given to me by Quinea last night... to write out my life story, all the nitty gritties, and all the hard stuff, including emotions. Man, it's going to be hard. But I think God will bring healing through it... I hope... and pray.

Well friends... until next time. :)

From Now On.

Sometimes life isn't fun. Now is one of those times.

I don't know how I would handle life without my husband. He helps me stand when I feel I can't. He pushes me to be a stronger and better person in Christ. He helps me find my way when I can't see. We are on a long journey right now.

God is teaching me so much.

I no longer care what it is that I do in life, as long as my husband is by my side.

I know I've needed to come to that place. And I know some of you may have been concerned that I hadn't yet. I'm here. And it's good. I am also super slow at getting where I need to be in life. I learn things the hard way.

Life has not been very good to me. It's been hard.

But right now... it is good. But I'm still not okay. I'm not quite sure how I can be.

I need to talk about Cam a bit more... I feel that in all of my writing... he has been lacking. I love him so much. I've never known anyone with patience like him. I've never known anyone who loves so selflessly. I've never known anyone who can make me laugh like he can. I've never known anyone so handsome. I have been so blessed. I never thought that I would marry someone like Cam... he is one huge way that God has shown me how His plans are far greater than mine.

Cam is my husband. My best friend. The love of my life.

I cannot wait to grow old with him.

I think I've written enough for now. All I can ask is that you would pray.

For me. For Cam too... as he's walking a journey of discovery personally as well.

Sayonara. 

A New Day

So it's been a little while since I've written in my blog... I've had a little too much going on in life and haven't known what is safe to write, or what would be okay to write. Now I realized, maybe I don't have to be so worried about it. Maybe I can just talk about what God is teaching me... because oh my goodness, He is teaching me. 


I feel as though I'm in the process of letting everything go. I hold so tightly to everything, to my job, to my family, to problems... and I am being shown how weak I really am. And how little I really trust God. That's a terrifying realization... knowing that I am so unable to do anything on my own strength... but also learning to hold tightly onto the hope that Christ has given me. 


Last night I was able to spend time with two incredibly beautiful women who make me feel so blessed in my friendships with them. We talked for hours... and prayed for each other. And challenged each other. I am so so blessed with my friends. 


On another note though... one of my bestest friends, Rachael, just left for 7 1/2 months to go to Portugal on TREK. So exciting for her... but I am going to miss her like crazy. 


Cam and I are making some tough decisions right now that may affect where we are in the new year. And so, if you think of it... please pray for us. I am exhausted. I had to take a day off work this week because I couldn't keep going. I'm so tired. 


I get Elena for the afternoon today... so excited :)


Em